Top Gear, the greatest motoring show the world has ever seen, is dead. It was taken from us with one punch to the face, and we were all shocked. But according to James May, its time was numbered anyways, because the latest contract the hosts were going to sign was also supposed to be the last. »
Every so often, you get what sounds like a perfect recipe. It has all the right ingredients, seemingly in all the right proportions. Then they’re all added together, and the result is a bit crap. Like the Mercedes-Benz SLK 55 AMG Black Series. »
There once was a condiment completely beloved by the Western world, but today, it has almost completely vanished. It was slathered on everything, and everyone went nuts over it. You might be thinking it’s gone, but it isn’t. You can still get garum, sort of. If you try really hard, or are willing to pay for it. »
No, not that sort of siren, you uneducated cretin. The sirens were mysterious creatures that plagued the Ancient Greece of Odysseus, singing beautiful songs that lured sailors to their deaths. People thought they were myths, but they weren’t. They still exist. Except instead of plaguing the seas, they plague parking… »
The Chevrolet Corvette Z06 is already a blazing hot track stud. The Corvette C7.R is already a very fast race car. But if you want your Z06 to be just a little bit more like the racer, welcome the Corvette Z06 C7.R edition. It’s like the C7.R in a few ways. But only a few, because the Z06 is much, much more powerful. »
When Jeremy Clarkson was told he was finished at Top Gear, everyone just sort of assumed that was that. The show was over, at least in its then-current incarnation, and we’d all have to find something new to watch on Sundays (Nurse Jackie, obvi). But co-host James May just said it might not be over for the trio. »
We all have the same complaint. I want to order stuff off of Amazon, but I also want the metaphysical feeling of buying it from a store. I don’t want to actually buy things from a store, mind you, but I want to pretend that I did. Amazon and Audi are here to help, by delivering packages not straight to you, but… »
We live in a time of great individuality. With online car configurators, it’s easier now than ever to get a car that suits you, and only you. Sort of. While you can choose paint and whether or not you want silly wheels, you can’t truly customize your car. Not really, anyways. And I’m wondering why not. »
Being a fighter pilot, in general, sounds like a sweet gig on the surface. You fly in fast jets, and you get to wear sunglasses a lot. But to the 100 Saudi fighter pilots bombing Houthi rebels in Yemen right now, it just got better. Saudi prince Al-Waleed bin Talal promised each and every one of them a Bentley.
Hey John! Thanks for joining us here today. What’s one piece of data-driven technology you think we’ll never see in cars, and why not? »
Hey Oppos! Working on a story for los Jalops, and could use a super-quick translation of some Arabic. Anyone around who might want to put some of their skills to charitable use? »
Everyone who’s ever traveled to Europe, China, or Japan, comes back freaking about all the trains we don’t have. Amtrak trains are slow, unreliable, and, weirdly enough more expensive. In fact, they’re so bad, Amtrak’s own CEO cries about it. And it’s no one’s fault but our own. »
There’s many kinds of great racing in this world. Racing of beauty, racing of grace. But very rarely is there racing where the pit crew kicks out the windshield completely, the car drives away, the hood flips up, and the driver can’t see anything at all so he does the whole lap hanging ass-out the door. »
Way back in the 1980s, Ted Turner had CNN make a video that was only to be played at the end of the world. It was a bit melancholy, to put it lightly. A bit boring, and not exactly the sendoff we might want. So leave it to John Oliver, Last Week Tonight, and Martin Sheen to give us a much, much better one. »
You saw the headline, right up there? Up top? The one involving Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and non- Top Gear? And you’re still clicking through? Good, then we’re all on the same page. Because there’s plenty of things to drudge through in the world of non-Top Gear, starting with the Ape and the Hamster.