This is Jerry Patterson, and he is a Real Man running for a Real Office in the Real State of Texas. You might think this picture is a joke, some sort of satirical fantasy created by a detractor. "HA! That Jerry Patterson,” you say, noting his seemingly endless devotion to guns and weapons and guns. "He loves guns so much, he just hands them out like hotcakes for every hallmark holiday!”

But no, really, this guy does love guns. Even more than you like alliteration. This image was posted on his own Facebook page, with the caption reading:

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I’m posting a special online card for my friends each day until Thursday. On today’s card – a piece of advice for finding the perfect romantic gift for your loved ones.

Jerry Patterson has finally come full-circle, blazing past post-modernism in a chariot of glory and on to a different plane of post-ironic existence, completely misunderstanding what an internet meme is but also how they are used. Or maybe he does get it? And feeds off his own parody image? Maybe it’s a big joke, some sort of performance art?


Yep, he posted that on his Facebook page, too, with the caption “sometimes you see a photo that is too adorable not to share. Happy Tuesday everyone.”

Definitely performance art.

H/T to Wonkette.